5/13/2023
Hi
Forcing myself to write for the sake of having something written
Not going to do a huge life recap, some things are the same, some things are wildly different
Im engaged, getting married to june on July 22nd in her moths backyard. Can you believe that? Its beautiful, the backyard, and the reality that I get to be this person with that person. June is the glittering ruby jewel on the crown of my life. She's the pearl sitting in the fleshy folds of my clam. That's gross, I made it sound a little gross, on purpose, for fun.
A lot of my problems are still the same, no adhd meds, stoned 24/7, eating disorder evolving into new and more advanced demons, nothing new and nothing fun.
Life is long, I don't think I'll be a better version of myself for a long time, and my edges are wearing down. I know now confidently that next year my life will be in another completely unpredictable place, nothing I can do but look forward to it, so I choose to look forward to it.
This is how unemployed uneducated people communicate to themselves, these are the concerns and attempts at self awareness that someone whos completely free to be a bum-loser gets to have.. I'm thankful that I don't spend a lot of my attention on things that don't concern me. I'm thankful that I find peace in very simple things. I'm thankful for the internal successes I've built so far.
I am much better at being genuine these days, I am much more easily myself.
I'm still interested in my small projects, I would love to write my book, I would love to spend more time outside, I would love to update this website more.
Not much I can offer from this writing, or gain from it, other than having expressed myself and my thoughts, it's always a net positive. Take my thoughts as personal and quiet, I mean that both to myself in the future (the main audience for this venue) and to anyone curious enough to be peeking in.
We got a cat, my first time really owning a Domestic Animal myself. He's totally blind, his eyes both exploded because of an infection he picked up outside. He was a stray kitten and June's cousin was in a position to be able to save him if we agreed to take him in. One of the best decisions ive ever been part of making. This cat is a big healthy bastard now. His name is Bug.
